[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.24.0″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”-80px|||||” custom_padding=”0px||0px||true|false” da_disable_devices=”off|off|off” global_colors_info=”{}” da_is_popup=”off” da_exit_intent=”off” da_has_close=”on” da_alt_close=”off” da_dark_close=”off” da_not_modal=”on” da_is_singular=”off” da_with_loader=”off” da_has_shadow=”on”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.24.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n
The moment a child asks to install a new app for the first time can bring up lots of conflicting feelings – for both parents and children.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Many adults assume all kids want the same apps and games their friends use, but that\u2019s not always the case. Sometimes children don\u2019t <\/span>want<\/span><\/i> to get on a particular platform, but feel the pressure from their peers and fear being left out.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Rather than causing conflict, this can be a great conversation starter for families and an opportunity to help their child explore how they feel, and decide if and how they want to use the app in question. Conversations like these also help build trust between parent and child by placing them on the same team when it comes to technology, instead of against each other. <\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n When children ask for a new app, parents often feel torn between wanting their kids to fit in and needing to keep them safe. This dilemma brings up several difficult questions: How do I know if my child is ready for this app? How can I monitor their activity without spying? What should I do if something goes wrong? And perhaps most importantly, <\/span>can I just say no?<\/b><\/p>\n These complexities make parenting today harder than it\u2019s probably ever been before. On the one hand, technology has changed what it means to \u201cbelong\u201d and \u201cfit in\u201d for young people, and on the other, it has forced parents to start thinking about their child\u2019s safety on more than one plane – both the real-life and the digital.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Unlike in previous decades, for many teens today, <\/span>being social means being online.\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n Once children enter their early teen years, the influence of their social circle becomes much stronger than that of their family. Friends become the center of their world, and parental influence fades into the background. The need to belong becomes just about the most powerful drive in a young person\u2019s life during this developmental phase.<\/span><\/p>\n As hard as that can be for parents to adjust, this is a natural part of child development and a necessary step that prepares them to be the social creatures that we humans are designed to be.<\/span><\/p>\n While children used to have much more freedom to roam around in \u201cthird places\u201d – like parks, community centers, or after-school clubs <\/span>–<\/span> today\u2019s teens aren\u2019t as able to spend time with each other IRL (in real life).<\/span><\/a> So, <\/span>when we draw boundaries and don\u2019t allow them access to certain digital spaces, it can really impact their social life, and in turn, wellbeing.\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n This isn\u2019t to say kids don\u2019t want to socialize in-person. A recent report from California found that<\/span> most teens – 9 in 10 – <\/span>really <\/span><\/i>value being with friends in person<\/span><\/a>, <\/span>and that more than half wish they saw their friends in person more often than they do.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/static.qustodio.com\/public-site\/uploads\/2026\/09\/04084743\/2026-07-Blog-What-to-do-when-your-child-feels-left-out-online_Inside-Image.png” alt=”Teen boy using smartphone with headphones” title_text=”2026-07-%91Blog%93-What-to-do-when-your-child-feels-left-out-online_Inside-Image” align=”center” disabled_on=”off|off|off” admin_label=”Image” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label=”Text” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n FOMO, or the \u201cfear of missing out\u201d, is the persistent, uncomfortable feeling that others are doing something fun and exciting when we aren\u2019t. While the fear of being left out is deeply ingrained in the human psyche, <\/span>social media has essentially weaponized it<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n This \u201cdigital FOMO\u201d can come in various forms, such as the <\/span>\u201chighlight reel” effect<\/b> – comparing your mundane, everyday reality to someone else’s heavily filtered, peak moments – or <\/span>\u201cdisconnect anxiety\u201d<\/b> –\u00a0 the urgent, and often unfounded, feeling that you must be active on a certain platform, 24\/7, otherwise you vanish from the social map.<\/span><\/p>\n Teenagers face intense peer pressure that can make them hyperfixate on what they are missing out on. For some, this constant comparison spirals into<\/span> severe stress and anxiety<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Before you decide whether or not to allow your child access to an app, consider asking them the following:<\/span><\/p>\n If possible, it can be a good idea to download the app yourself so you can understand:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Sometimes you will want to keep your child away from certain apps – perhaps the app has a reputation for being dangerous or too distracting, or you\u2019ve seen for yourself that it\u2019s inappropriate for their age.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n As with many things digital, <\/span>a strict ban, without compromise or conversation, can be detrimental to your child\u2019s attitude to technology<\/b> going forward. It may push them to be more secretive or take more risks online.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Avoid giving them a flat \u201cno\u201d and using phrases like:<\/span><\/p>\n Instead\u2026<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n For many apps, it\u2019s not that they\u2019re inherently bad; it\u2019s that they are not appropriate for your child at this time.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Instead of a hard no, <\/span>make it clear the decision is about readiness, not punishment. <\/b>Readiness might be their age, maturity, or level of digital skills, so set a time a few months away when you can review your decision.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n If an older sibling uses the app in question, you can discuss why they are allowed to use it and explain the differences in their levels of readiness.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n If you think the app is appropriate for your child and you\u2019re confident they will use it responsibly, it\u2019s still a good idea to take precautions and set boundaries.\u00a0<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n With Qustodio, you can:<\/p>\n <\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Helping your child to effectively handle digital FOMO and build healthy online habits is much more than allowing or not allowing them to use individual apps. We can help them learn that <\/span>not every trend needs to be followed<\/b>, and sometimes it\u2019s okay to be the last to join something.<\/span><\/p>\n By encouraging them to<\/span> think critically about the platforms and apps they use<\/b>, they can make better decisions about which ones are worth their time – every new app we download takes up more of the limited 24h we have every day. Remind them also of the importance of <\/span>creating a healthy balance between time spent socializing online vs offline<\/b>; and that ultimately, <\/span>real friendships shouldn’t depend on an app <\/b>and online friendships cannot replace offline ones.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The moment a child asks to install a new app for the first time can bring up lots of conflicting feelings – for both parents and children.\u00a0 Many adults assume all kids want the same apps and games their friends use, but that\u2019s not always the case. Sometimes children don\u2019t want to get on a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":38,"featured_media":113370,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[47],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-113357","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting-tips"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nIt\u2019s not always a simple yes or no<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Being social often means being online<\/strong><\/h2>\n
<\/strong><\/h2>\n
FOMO and why social media can make exclusion feel worse<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Understand what they’re asking for<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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How to say \u201cno\u201d to your child\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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“Not yet” is often better than \u201cnever\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Allowing them to use the app<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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The big picture<\/strong><\/h2>\n