[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”-80px|||||” custom_padding=”0px||0px||true|false” da_disable_devices=”off|off|off” global_colors_info=”{}” da_is_popup=”off” da_exit_intent=”off” da_has_close=”on” da_alt_close=”off” da_dark_close=”off” da_not_modal=”on” da_is_singular=”off” da_with_loader=”off” da_has_shadow=”on”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Text” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n
One of the toughest things for parents to do is discuss uncomfortable and scary topics with our children. As a psychologist, I\u2019ve spent the last 25 years helping thousands of parents broach uncomfortable topics ranging from death to sex to racism to guns, and everything in between. Raising my own four children has given me plenty of personal experience in this realm as well.<\/span><\/p>\n In an era dominated by technology, where virtual connections are a daily norm, one of the ongoing potentially uncomfortable conversations we need to have with kids is around<\/span> online safety<\/b>. That includes <\/span>teaching children about online predators<\/b> and how to handle situations where they are receiving inappropriate and unwanted attention.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Online predators are individuals who use the internet to exploit and manipulate vulnerable children and adolescents. These predators employ various tactics to build trust and connection with kids, which can lead to dangerous situations. <\/span>Initially these connections can seem safe and normal to kids<\/b>, but they quickly progress into a realm where children can be victimized via photos, threats, physical contact, or even abduction.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n While many parents don\u2019t think about predators or the threat they pose to their kids, the statistics show it\u2019s something that warrants our attention. <\/span>On any given day there are about a half million predators actively engaged in grooming and soliciting children<\/b> of all ages online.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n A recent <\/span>World Health Organization report<\/span><\/a> on the topic states that globally, <\/span>11.5% of children survey participants report that they\u2019ve received unwanted online sexual solicitation<\/b>. In the US, surveys show that at least 5% of children have experienced online grooming before the age of 18. This doesn\u2019t account for all of the children who have interacted with strangers online who made them feel uncomfortable. This underscores the urgent need to address online safety with our children.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n As parents, it is our responsibility to equip our children with the knowledge to recognize and respond to potential online predators. As with all sensitive topics, <\/span>these are ongoing conversations that start in the preschool years and progress more deeply as kids grow<\/b>. <\/span>Open conversations about online interactions<\/span><\/a> should be part of family safety discussions, and should be explored in developmentally appropriate ways. The goal isn\u2019t to terrify children, but to empower them with knowledge and skills to keep themselves safe online.<\/span><\/p>\n Here are some <\/span>key concepts to teach children and teens around online interactions and relationships<\/b>:<\/span><\/p>\n 1. Building trust takes time<\/b><\/p>\n Teach your children that genuine relationships take time to develop. If someone they’ve just met online becomes overly familiar or attempts to form an intense bond quickly, it could be a red flag.<\/span><\/p>\n 2. Respecting boundaries<\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Reinforce the importance of personal boundaries. Emphasize that no one should pressure them into sharing personal information or photos, and they should never feel obligated to keep secrets from you.<\/span><\/p>\n 3. Questioning intentions<\/b><\/p>\n Encourage your children to be critical thinkers when interacting with strangers online. If someone consistently avoids answering questions about themselves or provides conflicting information, it could indicate ulterior motives.<\/span><\/p>\n 4. Socializing with same-age peers<\/b><\/p>\n Discuss the importance of age-appropriate relationships. If an older individual seeks to befriend your child under any circumstance, it’s essential for your child to be concerned.<\/span><\/p>\n 5. Keeping secrets<\/b><\/p>\n Children need to know that they can tell parents and\/or other trusted adults anything about what\u2019s going on in their lives. If someone is telling them to keep secrets or not disclose information, kids need to know that is a red flag that they must immediately discuss with a trusted adult.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/static.qustodio.com\/public-site\/uploads\/2013\/04\/16110624\/2023-08-How-to-talk-to-your-child-about-online-predators_Inside-Image.png” alt=”Talking to children about predators online and how to spot them” title_text=”2023-08- How to talk to your child about online predators_Inside Image” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”||0px|||” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n While predators may seem kind and harmless at first, there are key traits and behaviors that indicate dangerous intentions. <\/span>There are many common red flag behaviors that can indicate predatory online behavior<\/b>. Discuss the following types of warning signs with your children:<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Predators often use flattery to gain trust and manipulate children emotionally. They may <\/span>make remarks about photos they\u2019ve seen your child or others post<\/b>, and this can feel good to kids as opposed to concerning. If your kids are regularly posting selfies online, you want to <\/span>teach them to do this thoughtfully<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n If someone they’ve met online consistently asks for personal information, such as full name, address, or school, it’s a definite cause for concern. <\/span>Any request for photos, especially in specific clothing or unclothed is an obvious red flag<\/b>, but one I\u2019ve known kids (especially preteens and teens) to ignore in the interest of maintaining the connection. Children need to be clearly told that this is dangerous.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Predators aim to isolate children from their friends and family. <\/span>They may want to take up more and more of your child\u2019s time<\/b>, or tell them to spend less time with others on and offline. Talk to your child about the importance of maintaining offline relationships and sharing online experiences openly.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Teach your child to be wary of individuals whose stories don’t align or seem inconsistent. They need to know that <\/span>any threats are a clear red flag<\/b>, as are promises of gifts or other things the child might gain.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n In addition to recognizing red flags, <\/span>it’s crucial for children to know how to respond when they encounter potentially harmful situations<\/b>. Here are some specific actions to teach children they can take anytime they are feeling wary or unsafe:<\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n As parents, it’s our responsibility to ensure our children’s safety in both the physical and digital worlds. It can feel overwhelming at times to have to think about and manage these kinds of issues, but our children are depending on us. Here are <\/span>four things you can do to help keep your child safe online<\/b>:<\/span><\/p>\n 1. Maintain open communication<\/b><\/p>\n Establish a consistent dialogue about online safety. Make sure your child knows they can come to you with any concerns or questions. <\/span>When concerns or mistakes arise, respond with empathy and problem solving<\/b> \u2013 not anger and punishment. This makes it much more likely that your child will come to you when they are in a confusing or scary situation.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n 2. Use parental controls and privacy settings<\/b><\/p>\n It is critical for parents to utilize <\/span>parental controls<\/span><\/a> on children\u2019s devices, and monitor them regularly. I use and recommend Qustodio as a great option that grows with kids and families from toddlerhood through the teen years.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Managing time is one thing, but from the standpoint of safety and internet predators you want to be sure you\u2019re <\/span>managing apps your children can access<\/span><\/a>. Weigh up and consider <\/span>potential app dangers and problems<\/span><\/a> before allowing kids to download and use them. You will also want to<\/span> familiarize yourself with the privacy settings on the platforms your child uses<\/b>. Adjust these settings to limit exposure to potentially harmful interactions.<\/span><\/p>\n 3. Provide ongoing supervision<\/b><\/p>\n Monitor your child’s online activities without infringing on their privacy. A great way to do this is to have unannounced sit-downs with your child where you look at their phone, open apps, and <\/span>scroll together<\/b>. This provides accountability for your child, but also protects them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Knowing that you are aware and involved can deter predators<\/b>, and this allows you to better monitor who your children are communicating with via apps and other modes.<\/span><\/p>\n 4. Education for you and your child<\/b><\/p>\n Continuously educate your child about online safety. Stay informed about the latest trends in apps and online safety concerns, and share this information with your child to empower them. Capitalize on news stories or media portrayals of online safety issues to initiate discussions with your child. These real-life examples can serve as powerful teaching tools.<\/span><\/p>\n Discussing uncomfortable and potentially frightening topics, including online predators, with children is an essential component of establishing their digital literacy and overall safety. By <\/span>fostering open communication, teaching them to recognize warning signs, and providing guidance on reporting<\/b>, you empower your child to navigate the online world responsibly and confidently. <\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Remember that safety in the digital age requires a proactive and informed approach, and <\/span>your involvement is crucial in protecting your child from potential online threats<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" One of the toughest things for parents to do is discuss uncomfortable and scary topics with our children. As a psychologist, I\u2019ve spent the last 25 years helping thousands of parents broach uncomfortable topics ranging from death to sex to racism to guns, and everything in between. Raising my own four children has given me […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":18,"featured_media":50802,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":" If you had to name the top three most painful and uncomfortable topics to talk to your kids about, I'd be willing to bet two of them would be: sex and evil. It sucks to have to tell your kids that there are bad people in the world, and as for the birds and the bees talk, it just seems unnatural to have to breech that topic with your 12-year old. Unfortunately, with more and more parents reporting that their kids' childhood is pretty much over by the age of 12<\/a>, we may need to have these discussions earlier than we thought.<\/p> <\/a><\/p>What is predatory behavior online? <\/b><\/h2>\n
How common are online predators?<\/b><\/h2>\n
What should children be aware of when communicating online?<\/b><\/h2>\n
How to spot a predator online<\/b><\/h2>\n
Excessive compliments<\/b><\/h3>\n
Requests for personal information or photos <\/b><\/h3>\n
Isolation attempts<\/b><\/h3>\n
Promises, threats, and inconsistent stories<\/b><\/h3>\n
How to report online predators<\/b><\/h2>\n
\n
What can parents do to keep kids safe?<\/b><\/h2>\n