Online messaging is more than just a simple back and forth. For children today, the experience is of course about the GIFs, stickers, and games that make conversation a richer and more exciting experience than traditional SMS – but messaging apps have also become a social space for kids, where being included means being connected and available.
Messaging apps that transcend operating systems and sync across devices can provide an inclusive space for communication, but to ensure safety, privacy, and age-appropriateness, deciphering the best fit for your child can be challenging, with features such as disappearing chats, privacy controls, and end-to-end encryption to navigate. Let’s explore some of the more positive messaging app choices and identify riskier options.
Are messaging apps safe for kids?
You might have heard worrying stories about messaging apps from fellow parents, teachers, or even kids themselves – highlighting problems from bullying to exposure to inappropriate content – so you might be wondering if safer messaging apps for children even exist. However, many of the concerning stories that parents hear about happen on messaging apps with features that aren’t appropriate for young children, like disappearing messages, location sharing, or the ability to connect with strangers.
Many of the more troubling stories we hear also come down to messaging etiquette and bad online behavior (we’ll get to this later!), so safer messaging apps can actually be a way to introduce your children to these kinds of platforms gradually, in age-appropriate ways that help them build better skills and healthy boundaries.
3 safer messaging apps for kids
Here are some of the safer messaging apps out there to get you and your child started:
1. Messenger Kids
Messenger Kids is a secure messaging app tailored for children aged 6 and up. You can set up a profile for your child, but limit who they’re able to talk to by controlling their contacts, and understand how they use the app by monitoring usage. Messenger Kids supports video calls, messaging, and age-appropriate GIFs, and although parents can’t view message content, they receive notifications for inappropriate conversations. Messenger Kids stands out with robust parental controls, making it a good choice for children entering the world of online messaging.
2. JusTalk Kids
JusTalk Kids, the child-friendly version of the JusTalk app, offers a free platform for video chatting and messaging. There’s no phone number or email requirement, and messages and photo sharing are encrypted for added safety. The app prevents contact with strangers by automatically blocking messages and calls from unapproved users, and the parental controls allow you to manage how your child uses the app through the ‘parents only’ code, contributing to a safer online experience.
3. Kinzoo Messenger
Kinzoo’s interactive messaging lets families – not just kids – connect together. Parents enter their child’s birth date and approve connections before kids can exchange messages. Messages are shared in a safe, private environment, and kids can use stickers, filters, and fun emojis. The app also lets children connect via voice or video call, both one-on-one and in friendship groups, and offers in-app activities designed to let them play and interact in age-appropriate ways, such as through games, podcasts, and stories.
Although apps like these are free to use, it’s important to be cautious of any in-app purchases on offer. Talk to your child about whether they can or can’t make online purchases, and avoid adding payment details to shared devices or your child’s. A good way to set out rules about this and start the conversation is by making a shared family tech agreement.
Messaging apps we recommend children avoid
1. Kik
Kik allows free texting without message limits. We don’t recommend this app for children, or teens under 17, as there is a livestream feature, and users can add others without permission, exposing them to potential online predators and bullying. Users are anonymous, and the default setting is to allow messages from everyone, meaning strangers can easily contact your child. Thanks to the anonymity and lack of parental controls/moderation, people on the app frequently share explicit content, making it unsafe for kids to use.
2. Discord
Popular among gamers, Discord’s unmoderated and user-generated content makes it unsuitable for children. Private servers often discuss inappropriate topics, posing a risk to young users. For older teens, Discord does offer some Privacy Settings, such as blocking DMs from anyone not on their friend list, and the ability to approve servers before they join.
3. IMVU
Known for its avatar-based social experience where users interact with others in chat rooms, IMVU contains a large amount of inappropriate content and poor chat moderation. Children may encounter online bullying and explicit material, making it unsafe for them to use.
How can I tell if a messaging app is actually safe?
With so many online messaging apps available to download for free – not to mention the private messaging features available through social media platforms such as Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok – reviewing them can be overwhelming.
Some things to consider before your child uses a messaging app are:
- How much autonomy is there for children on the app?
- Can strangers interact with each other?
- What parental controls are available?
- What type of content could a child be exposed to when using the app?
- What are the minimum age requirements for the app?
- Does the app have any settings that could be deceptive, like disappearing messages or private content?
6 ways to make messaging apps safer for your child
Even if a messaging app is “safer” for your child to use, one of the real problems surrounding these platforms is that danger, in part, comes from how children might use and talk to others through it, rather than its settings and privacy features.
The best way to keep them safe as they talk to friends and family online is to take a tiered approach: making sure the app is age-appropriate, while having ongoing conversations about how they’re using messaging tools, and what behavior is OK, versus what’s not:
1. Be cautious of group chats
For younger children, even if they have their own phone, group chats are difficult spaces to manage. The added element of a group dynamic to messaging can encourage bullying, peer pressure, exclusion, and sharing of inappropriate content. Strangers could also be added to group chats, meaning it’s difficult to understand who your child is really engaging with behind the screen. Consider if your child is really developmentally ready to use apps with group chat features, taking into account their personality and maturity level, too.
2. Create a judgment-free space to share
Your child should know they can come to you to talk about any problem they’re having online – including over messaging apps. If a message makes them feel worried, scared, or uncomfortable, let them know they can open up to you without judgment. Reacting calmly and listening to your child in situations like this means they will be more likely to come to you when something happens, rather than keeping it a secret.
3. Check the privacy settings and in-app tools
Before your child downloads and uses a new app, including messaging apps, review the privacy settings and the features it offers, such as screen time management, ability to block contacts, and any built-in reporting tools they can make use of to make their experience more secure and balanced.
4. Discuss stranger interactions online
One of the risks with messaging apps is that strangers might request their contact information elsewhere, such as on a gaming app like Roblox or social media. This “shift” moves them to a more private, often one-on-one exchange, where strangers build trust in a more closed-off setting. This makes children more vulnerable to sharing personal information, pictures, or details about their private lives.
Talk to your child about interacting with strangers online, and teach them how to respond when someone they’ve met online, such as in an in-game chat, suggests a shift to a more private or “secure” platform.
5. Consider parental control tools
Keeping on top of different apps and their individual settings can be difficult for parents to manage. Parental control tools can help tailor your child’s device to their age, letting you set limits based on their maturity and what they need access to (versus what they’d like to access). For example, with Qustodio, you can:
- Receive alerts when something concerning comes up in your child’s texts, and on popular communication apps like WhatsApp, Line, Snapchat, and Instagram.
- Monitor the time your child spends on a particular communication app
- Block certain apps from being opened, or block entire app categories, such as all communication apps
- Get an alert the first time your child downloads and uses a new app
6. Talk to them about being kind online
Teaching kids to respect and be kind to others is just as important online as it is offline. Children need to understand that their actions and words can have an impact on others, so discuss hurtful comments, bullying, peer pressure, and negative online behavior with them. This will also help you understand what their online world is like.
A family digital agreement is a good place to start if you’ve never discussed online boundaries before. You can lay out rules and expectations together for messaging apps, social media, and other platforms, depending on your child’s age, and agree on what works best for your family.
Regardless of which messaging app you decide on for your child, engaging in open conversations about online safety, installing a parental control tool like Qustodio, setting boundaries, and staying informed and proactive as communication technology continues to evolve will help contribute to a safer, more positive digital experience for them.
